Monday, November 17, 2014

Sacrifice? Please, I’ve heard Mambo Number Five

So the LDS church has gone public with what everybody who had read Under the Banner of Heaven has already known. Joseph Smith was a kind of sketchy guy. I don’t know, they sort of hedge it with stuff like, the 14 year old was only sealed for eternity (that is Mormon for, he didn’t commit statutory rape. mmmkay sure, guys). Then they go on to say how plural marriage (that is Mormon for polygamy) was a religious principle that required personal sacrifice. I mean, come on. It was like guys sleeping around and saying, it’s cool, y’all. The angel made me do it. No seriously. The angel was going to KILL ME. Meanwhile, the women were left behind. As usual.
There is so much I like about the teachings of the Mormon church. Just like there is so much I like about the teachings of mainline protestant churches. But yeah. As long as there is this vibe that, as my friend John so awesomely puts it: Religion, made by men, for men, join today! Then, I’m just like, really? REALLY?!! Come on. As religious people are so fond of saying, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Why buy the sketchiness when you can get the “be a good person, find a caring community, and hope for the best” for free?

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