Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Save the drama for your HOA listserv

A few neighbors had mentioned our home owners association listserv in a relatively harmless manner; as if it's a place to find out about neighborhood parties and such. So I figured, I like parties. I should join.

You guys. I had no idea. Joining my HOA listserv should be on a list of things that make you lose faith in humanity. Like reading YouTube comments. Just kidding, nothing compares to that. But still.

For example, one goal I have for myself is to work on is recognizing when something is unimportant and just letting it go. And then I joined the listerv. And I decided, actually never mind; maybe I'm kind of amazing at that. First, there was this crazy thread about replacing the neighborhood fence. How do people have such strong feelings about a freaking fence? I mean, it is made of bricks. And it goes around the neighborhood. I just. I can't. 

Then this one guy got super upset about people using the pool during "adult swim." You guys, sh*t just got real.
What part of "NO PERSON UNDER THE AGE OF 18 WITHOUT LIFEGUARDS PRESENT" is so hard to understand? … You agreed to the rules in writing as part of the program access, and the rule is plastered in your face upon entry. [ed note: not literally, thank god] I would also encourage every resident to challenge any resident who violates this rule. If you see a violation, approach the offender and inform them of the violation. Email me the date and time and I'll investigate [ed note: "investigate"? what are you, Sherlock Holmes?].  The choice is yours. You can play by the rules you agreed to for Adult Swim or lose the privilege of the pool for the summer. Harsh? Yes. But there is simply no other method to get everyone's attention this is serious business. [ed note: super serious]  
I am not a cast member on a Real Housewives show, whose job it is to have confrontations.   
Mentions of adult swim: 5
Mentions of kids' safety: 0
Clearly, the Draconian lifeguard rule currently in place is primarily to stop kids from using the pool. The safety argument is just a cover. I hate for [OP] to have to get so worked up when he sees the earth-shattering sight of kids swimming in a swimming pool. Can somebody please outline the process by which we can get the rules fixed? 
Your response is a bald faced lie abut keeping chikdren (sic) out and your constant whining about this issue is nauseating [ed note, "constant whining" = that one email]. I will not read or respond to any reply, so save it. Its (sic) past time grow up and move past this issue.   
Telling us what you think and then running off with your fingers in your ears? Which of us needs to grow up? Nobody is interested in hearing what you think about me. I know I'm not. Also this isn't the first time you've threatened to not read or reply to my messages.  I'm hoping today's the day! [ed note: hahahahahaha]  
[not a real housewives lady],
Please explain then why there is currently one resident in the pool RIGHT NOW with a child under the age of 18? Please explain why four residents just yesterday (June 3) all accessed the pool at different times bringing children (infants) into the pool area? And again, please explain why last week there were three other incidents where residents used their Adult Swim Access privileged to bring children under the age of 18 in when no guards are present. That's eight instances of abuse within a week   
Why is it up to [not a real housewives lady] to explain other people's behavior? All she said was that she didn't feel obligated to be your enforcer. If I had to take a guess at an explanation, it would be that those people wanted to go swimming in the pool. Just a stab at it.
 Because it's out of control for violations. With termination of program, that stops the violations.
"Out of control for violations" is another way to describe a situation where the pool rules are simply not meeting the needs of the residents.
Another way to describe it is that people don't have the ethics to live up to their agreement. 
I see I was giving you too much credit. I thought you were merely selfishly guarding your virtually-all-the-time adult swim, using the safety argument as a decoy. In fact, your primary goal is punishment against people who are "unethical" and "rule-breakers" in some kind of misplaced, self-righteous vendetta.
I haven't emailed the lsitserv because some of these people sort of frighten me. But I kind of want to just to ask if people would please sign their emails with their home address so I can know which houses to avoid while trick or treating. Because these people look so normal walking their dogs, watering their plants, getting their mail and such. Yikes.

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