- Maybe if she hadn't gotten so drunk.
- Why was she hanging out with them anyway?
- What did you expect to happen at that hour?
- There are ways women can prevent rape. Start with making better choices.
- I'm sure he didn't mean it like that.
- But he's such a nice guy.
- Maybe you weren't clear enough.
Victim blaming, as you can see, assumes that there is something the victim could have done to get out of the situation, that there is something that could have prevented the assault, or that there is something they need to apologize for. Victim blaming and rape culture are intimately tied together. Both assume that rapists are an unstoppable force and it is up to us, as potential victims, to get out of the way.
And then please read this:
As other feminists have said, tactics that instruct women not to get raped are really just saying “Make sure he rapes the other girl.”
...while each of us is absolutely responsible for the harm we do to ourselves and others while drunk, we’re never responsible for the harm others do to us.