Sunday, February 10, 2013

Women and religion take three (four?) I lost count

I came across this: 25 Ways To Communicate Respect to Your Husband on Pinterest the other day and it made me sort of want to throw my iPad across the room. {that is something I hate about Pinterest, I was just searching "for the home" stuff for cute decor ideas and, BAM, blindsided by religious stuff that makes me want to give up on religion forever.} This thing has been liked over a thousand times on facebook. And for some good reasons, there is some good advice in it. But it is just flanked by all this, oh dear, what is the word? Crap? 

I can summarize the crap in four other "c" words/phrases: cook, clean, consent to unwanted sex, and completely supplant your own ambitions, opinions, ideas, and self respect with the singular desire of pleasing and appeasing your husband. 

Basically, the list is epitomized by number 25: If you want your husband to lead, you must be willing to follow. Neither a body nor a family can function well with two heads. Learn to defer to your husband’s wishes and let final decisions rest with him.

First of all, I think Abby and Brittany Hensel would beg to differ. Second, gross. Dear God, please let my girls never think that being a "good wife" has anything to do with this sort of crap. Amen.

Then there is this companion list of 25 Ways to Show Your Wife You Love Her that is sort of like, try not to be a jerk. So in summary: girls give up everything to please your husband and just focus on keeping a nice, clean house; guys, don't be too gross or abusive. (right, Jamie?! Those were basically her words) 

No where in this advice is their room for either men or women to follow their natural (some might say, God given) strengths and interests in a way that works best for them and their families. Instead, you have to jam yourself (and all those God-given talents, etc) into this boy or girl shaped cookie cutter. No, thank you. If God thinks we are so stupid that we need to these rigid roles like kindergartners need straight lines to walk in and assigned seats on the class carpet to sit in, or if God thinks we are so simple that we naturally should just fall into these roles, then God must not think very highly of or be very familiar with his own creation.

As an alternative (to me just completely giving up on religion right now, or you thinking that these lists are okay) I offer you this:  Faking It: Why You Should Stop Treating Your Husband Like a Toddler, and ACTUALLY Respect Him. 

 *update: my own list of 25 ways to communicate respect to your husband



  1. I just have to laugh at those lists. Pretty sure I'm the one in my relationship who needs to "dial down your anger" but I guess since that isn't on the female list I can just be a rage maniac because I am a woman! LOL Totally joking... You just can't take people like this seriously. Yeah, maybe that 'works' for them, but putting out some check list and saying it will make any marriage better is absurd. I'm so sick of people mindlessly repinning things over and over and over and they don't even read what the link says. I swear.

  2. Woo, thanks for the shout out!