Keeping up with two toddlers is chaotic sometimes. When I look back on some of our louder moments, I usually can’t see a clear path to a peaceful, quiet, and joyful outcome that I just somehow overlooked the first time around. In other words, I just feel like chaos and loud noises are inevitable. And maybe that means I’m a bad mom. Maybe there are amazing moms out there who never lose their cool and whose kids never have melt downs or whatever. And good for them. But I think the best I can do is find peace in spite of the noise, tears, and chaos (rather than having peace because of the lack of noise, tears, and chaos). And I think the key to that peace is finding some sort of prescription drug that can get me through our morning routine and bedtime. Does such a drug exist? Like a targeted release Xanax that kicks in between 6-8 AM and PM? Not really. I mean, unless such a drug exists, then let me know. But until then, I'm reading Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood and Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting (not super thrilled with the former, but hopeful about the latter). And I'll keep you updated. Also, if you didn't watch the video, please do. THAT IS MY LIFE, you guys.