In case you ever find that your toddler has jammed something in her nose, I have a suggestion: the Nosefrida. First, let me say, if you have a baby, then you should own a Nosefrida regardless of what is or is not stuck in your baby's nose. They are awesome. You don't actually insert anything inside the nose, so there is zero chance the kid will move their head suddenly and get a bloody nose from it, like those stupid bulb syringes. You just put it at the base of the nose and then you suck the other end (there is a red mouth piece you can kinda see it in this picture). It is gross but awesome at the same time. (there is a filter at the tubing, so no risk that you'll inhale boogies.)
Anyway, a kid at daycare got a rock in her nose last week and I thought, holy crud. Sucks to be you and your mom. So of course I got the call the very next day that my own daughter succumbed to the same fate.
On the way to daycare, I texted my nurse friend (who is awesome! shout out) and she told me that most rock-in-the-nose cases require an ER visit or an ENT visit because you need special tools to get stuff out of a nose. Not good news. An ER trip for something not-very-serious is a recipe for a stupid long wait (not to mention an expensive bill).
I read on the internet that one option is to cover the un-jammed nostril with your finger and cover the kid's mouth with yours and blow really hard. My coworker said that method worked for her sister's kid who got banana stuck in his nose. Gross, but your kid has something in her nose, so the gross ship has sailed, my friend Whatever you do, don't try to get it out with tweezers or something, you'll probably just lodge it further up in there. Like probably all the way into their brain. True story. (not a true story.)
Anyway, I picked my daughter up from daycare and took her to Whole Foods to buy an overpriced Nosefrida (what the heck, Whole Foods? Is there a hipster tax to shop there? Ugh I sort of hate you except you were the closest store I knew carried it, so I forgive you). Then I tested my Nosefrida hypothesis right there in the parking lot. It was lodged in her nose pretty good and I thought I might pass out from all the sucking (because I pass out with very little provocation). So I was starting to doubt my purchase. But I did it! And I felt like Super Mom! Like I needed to spend the money I would have spent on an ER visit on clothes and gifts to myself (at least $200, probably more)!
Except as I walked triumphantly to the front seat to bask in my awesomeness, my daughter yelled: "MOMMY! Buckle my seat belt!" GOSH DARN IT. So, no. Not a Super Mom after all. oh well. But I bought myself some new boots anyway. Because even a failed Super Mom who forgets really important things because she was totally distracted by a snotty rock she successfully removed ALL BY HERSELF deserve a little something for her efforts.