...The effort to try to feel happy is often precisely the thing that makes us miserable. And that it is our constant efforts to eliminate the negative — insecurity, uncertainty, failure, or sadness — that is what causes us to feel so insecure, anxious, uncertain, or unhappy. They didn't see this conclusion as depressing, though. Instead, they argued that it pointed to an alternative approach, a “negative path” to happiness, that entailed taking a radically different stance towards those things that most of us spend our lives trying hard to avoid. It involved learning to enjoy uncertainty, embracing insecurity, stopping trying to think positively, becoming familiar with failure, even learning to value death. In short, all these people seemed to agree that in order to be truly happy, we might actually need to be willing to experience more negative emotions — or, at the very least, to learn to stop running quite so hard from them.
Positive thinking is for suckers! From Salon.com
We numb vulnerability…The problem is, you cannot selectively numb emotion. You cannot say here is the bad stuff: here is vulnerability, here is grief, here is shame, here is disappointment. I don’t want to feel these. I’m going to have a couple beers and a banana nut muffin. I don’t want to feel these…You can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects or emotions. You cannot selectively numb. When we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness, and then we are miserable and we are looking for purpose and meaning; and then we are feeling vulnerable and so we have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin..and it becomes this dangerous cycle...Practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror…instead of catastraphizing what might happen, say I am just so grateful because to feel this vulnerable means I am alive.