Monday, August 6, 2012

Why I will never spank my kids

I know I shouldn't let stuff like this annoy me so much. But gross.

More like this:

It is one thing to spank your kids. But to say that you believe that caring, thoughtful, well-behaved adults cannot be raised without spanking? That is just sad and ignorant. 

And yes, the abundance of research against spanking {that says it increases the likelihood that your kid will be dumb, violent or suffer from mental illness} is not perfect (i.e., double blind, controlled. Because, drum roll, that would be unethical). But would you really want to risk spanking under the assumption that it is OK because the negative outcomes are just correlates? That means something else is making your kids dumb, aggressive, and anxious/depressed. And the common denominator is the parent/spanker. i.e., YOU.

The main reason I will never spank my kids is not just because I do not want to model aggressive behavior, or attempt to "teach" them through pain or shame. It is also because I never want my child to be in the care of another adult, to be told by that adult that it is OK for them to hurt my child, and for my child to only pause for a moment because mommy and daddy taught them that it is OK for adults to hurt a child. I want my children to know there is a clear line between loving someone and hurting someone. I never want them to get the two confused. And most of all, I want them to know that they are worthy of thoughtful, kind, and gentle support and care. And anyone else who offers them less? I hope they know it is wrong, and they feel comfortable standing up for themselves.

And to parents who really believe that spanking is necessary for good parenting? I feel truly sorry for you. And even more sorry for your children.