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from Amazon |
In the past, did children walk around with a nipple in their mouth? No more than adults walked around with a lit weed and smoke coming out their noses. During the early critical times of brain development, pacifiers lock in neural connections that essentially tell a child, "get frustrated, get bored, get fussy, and handle it by putting something in your mouth"...Once a child gets used to a pacifier, it becomes almost an addiction {ed note: almost an addiction? is that like almost pregnant? addiction is a pretty complicated issue, I'm sure the authors read something about it once. or maybe saw something on TV? or know someone who knows something? seems legit.}. The child wants that pacifier like an alcoholic wants the bottle- and on a neurobiological level, both responses may be related." Tell your toddler: "honey, it looks as if you are into sucking your pacifier right now, and I'm sure it feels super-good to you, but it is a hassle to my eyeballs, so I will appreciate it if you practice it up in your room. When you get it out of your system, will you join us again."
Two toddlers, "Thoughtful" and "Thug" want to be picked up. They raise their hands and scream demandingly at their parents. Thug's parents pick him up. In essence, they say, "Be obnoxious with me and you'll get your way." However, when Thoughtful raise her hand and screams, her father says, without anger or sarcasm, "Thoughtful, why don't you lie down on the linoleum? I can't pick you up when you act like that." Thoughtful learns right away to say, as politely as possible, "Daddy, will you please pick me up?
Congrats on your young child’s mastery of complete sentences! It sounds like your thoughtful neglect approach is also great for receptive and expressive language development {oddly enough, that was not my understanding of the literature on language acquisition}. Or perhaps, you are totally unfamiliar with very young children? And I almost forgot; you called one of the toddlers, “Thug.”

This is one that I wanted to read. I think that I will skip it now!
ReplyDeleteI read this book also a while back. I don't remember the part about staging a kidnapping. Although I have to say that some of the "scenarios" in the book did not ring true to real life at all. One example was about the 5 year old that kept making his mother late for work because he wouldn't get dressed, then she found a solution that she was going to leave at the time she needed to whether he was dressed or not. He could just finish dressing himself in the car. The thought I kept having was "what about breakfast?" Does he not eat in the morning & wouldn't you physically have to carry the kid that's still groggy and in his pajamas. It just didn't seem very realistic to me. However, I did like the suggestions about asking questions rather than constantly barking orders. I also liked how it suggested to feel sympathy for your children when they make a bad choice rather than getting angry at them. The book did also give me a new perspective on the issues of letting your children choose their own hair style/clothes/etc. as they get older. I like how it talked about if it doesn't affect you, then you shouldn't try to control it.
ReplyDeleteI totally know what you mean. Some parts were useful, but I remember a similar scenario in the book with a SAHM. They said if your kid sleeps through the bus and expects you to take him, don't. and make him stay out of your way and pay for a babysitter if you have to run errands, and then don't write him an excuse for school. I was like, yeah, good luck with your truancy charges.
ReplyDeleteI have to say, your review is taking parts of the book to a whole other level and your review is going above and beyond any logic to what the book has to offer.
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