Friday, March 16, 2012

Not So Good, Not So Bad

When I first found out I was pregnant, my biggest fear was both of them being sick at once. And that is hard. For sure. But I hadn't considered the scenario wherein they are sick at the same time, and then back-to-back one right after the other, and then at the same time, and on and on and on. For months.
It is a dark place. Where you wonder if you can even remember what a good night sleep and a quiet moment to yourself feels like, or if you will ever know what it feels like again. Where you miss your husband, even though he hasn't gone anywhere. You just barely get any decent, screaming/crying-free moments with him. And then, when he is going to go somewhere, instead of being stressed out about having both girls by yourself, you are just happy for him that he will get some relief.
But at the same time, you know how stupidly dramatic you are being. Having a child who wakes up at 3:30 and won't go back to bed is inconvenient. It is not a tragedy. When it keeps happening night after night, it is really inconvenient. But still not even close to the worst thing that can happen to a person.
And how can you be upset when there are chubby, I-want-more-cupcake faces looking at you like that?


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