Thursday, January 19, 2012

All For This

This evening, I was on the floor with both the girls when Maggie yanked my glasses off my face. She loves to then put them on her face, or back on mine, or just look at them and laugh. This time, she started to run off with them and tripped. My first thought was, you are going to hurt yourself, those aren't a toy. My second thought was, you are going to break my only way of seeing! But all I said was, "Maggie!! AH! I'm going to wean you, child!" And Hannah promptly yelled, "You get weaned, Mannie!"

Then I realized how absurd the whole exchange would have appeared to a random observer. It wasn't a threat, really. Not in the, "you misbehave and it is formula in a bottle for you, little girl!" way. Because that is just dumb on so many levels. But I really want Lasik. And I can't get it while I'm pregnant or breastfeeding. Which has basically been my life for the past 3+ years. And to make a short story long, while Maggie finds my glasses very amusing, I very much do not. I sort of hate them, but for some weird reason my eyes are rejecting my contacts right now (some unknown combination of dry eyes, possible allergies, and/or random sensitivity). And my eye doctor said another brand might (or might not) work better, and it will only cost me more and more co-pays and lens fitting fees to keep trying them out. And I'd only be using them until I could get Lasik. Which, won't happen until Maggie is weaned. Which isn't really a set date in my mind. I figure, I'll keep going as long as she wants to. And basically, a part of me is too cheap to buy (more expensive, and possibly equally useless) contacts or cuter glasses that might be retired the very next day if Maggie up and decides she is done nursing. So sometimes when I hate my glasses the most, I warn Maggie that her nursing days might be numbered. But I don't really mean it.

While I strongly believe that making idle threats is the foundation of excellent parenting (right? no?), it was really just your standard low moment. Maggie is getting to that age of knowing what she wants but not having the words to tell us. So she communicates mostly though pointing that is punctuated with these terrible grunt/whine/screams. It is hard not to absorb her frustration. And lately everything is terribly upsetting to Hannah. Her band aid is coming off. That toy doesn't go in that box. She doesn't want broccoli in her pasta. These are all very dramatic for a toddler. Or for my toddler, anyway. This past weekend, apropos of nothing (er, maybe an over due nap), she threw herself on the couch, crying. When I asked her what happened she said, "Nothing. My just want to cry on this couch." Fair enough. I'm sure I've had a few of those moments myself. Still. There is so much inexplicable drama and alleged suffering around here sometimes.

To make matters worse, when it was time for Maggie to go to bed I realized the bed was wet. Why, oh why, I couldn't tell (a forgotten sippy cup. But how? And still, why?!). I needed to change the sheets before Maggie melted down completely. When she got annoyed that I wasn't nursing her to sleep, she left the room and went to the bathroom, where Cork was bathing Hannah. Even though I couldn't see what was happening, I could hear some splashing and then they both started laughing. So much. Just those amazing, beautiful, baby/toddler laughs. And they kept laughing. And I thought to myself: Yes. This. This is why I put up with all the noise and frustration and one-handed/standing meals and tiny, uninvited guests in the bathroom and poor vision without glasses I don't like and contacts I can't wear and Lasik I can't get. It is all for moments like this. When you hear your girls laughing uncontrollably from the other room and can't help but start laughing yourself.



  1. You really need to stop making me cry.

  2. And it gets worse! Maggie (finally) broke my glasses this weekend! You were crying about my glasses situation, right? Just kidding. Thank you for reading:)

  3. How bad is your vision? Glasses breaking sounds bad!

    I actually had finally gotten to the point after Chiron that I was getting initial info on different Lasik options and what happened? Yup, Mirena pregnancy. I do the disposables that I wear for a month at a time though, so it's not too bad.

    Funny story, when I was admitted to the hospital last year at 24 and change weeks, I did not own a pair of glasses. They told me that if I had to go in for an emergency c-section, I would have to remove my contacts and they recommended having a pair of glasses. So my mom walked back and forth between the eye doctor and the hospital bringing me frames, marking my eye position, etc.

    Then, when I did end up needing a c-section almost six weeks later, I had been there so long that they knew me and said I could leave my contacts in.

  4. I live in fear of my kids breaking my glasses!!!!

    But seriously, such a truer post had not been written. It's all for those moments. It really is. I finally got a shower for the first time in 3 days so I can be positive about it now. :-)

  5. I'd say my vision is "medium bad." (truth is, medium is my favorite word) I can't drive or see faces without them, but I can do stuff around the house just fine. Now that they are broken, I'm considering contacts so that another pair of glasses won't get broken; but then I think, what if I can't wear contacts and need glasses? I'll just take all three! what is my problem?
    Michele, I feel like I've probably showered more in any given year pre-kids than I have in the whole 2.5yrs since I've had kids...So I know the feeling.

    1. Now, everytime I think about what to do, I just picture me in rec specs and start laughing.

  6. what a sweet post, I think my favorite part is the part about idle threats being the foundation of excellent parenting. I am not a parent yet, but I am pretty sure I am going to be the queen of idle threats.