Then I realized how absurd the whole exchange would have appeared to a random observer. It wasn't a threat, really. Not in the, "you misbehave and it is formula in a bottle for you, little girl!" way. Because that is just dumb on so many levels. But I really want Lasik. And I can't get it while I'm pregnant or breastfeeding. Which has basically been my life for the past 3+ years. And to make a short story long, while Maggie finds my glasses very amusing, I very much do not. I sort of hate them, but for some weird reason my eyes are rejecting my contacts right now (some unknown combination of dry eyes, possible allergies, and/or random sensitivity). And my eye doctor said another brand might (or might not) work better, and it will only cost me more and more co-pays and lens fitting fees to keep trying them out. And I'd only be using them until I could get Lasik. Which, won't happen until Maggie is weaned. Which isn't really a set date in my mind. I figure, I'll keep going as long as she wants to. And basically, a part of me is too cheap to buy (more expensive, and possibly equally useless) contacts or cuter glasses that might be retired the very next day if Maggie up and decides she is done nursing. So sometimes when I hate my glasses the most, I warn Maggie that her nursing days might be numbered. But I don't really mean it.
While I strongly believe that making idle threats is the foundation of excellent parenting (right? no?), it was really just your standard low moment. Maggie is getting to that age of knowing what she wants but not having the words to tell us. So she communicates mostly though pointing that is punctuated with these terrible grunt/whine/screams. It is hard not to absorb her frustration. And lately everything is terribly upsetting to Hannah. Her band aid is coming off. That toy doesn't go in that box. She doesn't want broccoli in her pasta. These are all very dramatic for a toddler. Or for my toddler, anyway. This past weekend, apropos of nothing (er, maybe an over due nap), she threw herself on the couch, crying. When I asked her what happened she said, "Nothing. My just want to cry on this couch." Fair enough. I'm sure I've had a few of those moments myself. Still. There is so much inexplicable drama and alleged suffering around here sometimes.
To make matters worse, when it was time for Maggie to go to bed I realized the bed was wet. Why, oh why, I couldn't tell (a forgotten sippy cup. But how? And still, why?!). I needed to change the sheets before Maggie melted down completely. When she got annoyed that I wasn't nursing her to sleep, she left the room and went to the bathroom, where Cork was bathing Hannah. Even though I couldn't see what was happening, I could hear some splashing and then they both started laughing. So much. Just those amazing, beautiful, baby/toddler laughs. And they kept laughing. And I thought to myself: Yes. This. This is why I put up with all the noise and frustration and one-handed/standing meals and tiny, uninvited guests in the bathroom and poor vision without glasses I don't like and contacts I can't wear and Lasik I can't get. It is all for moments like this. When you hear your girls laughing uncontrollably from the other room and can't help but start laughing yourself.