Friday, May 6, 2011

On Having Two Kids

The best parenting advice I got about having two kids was to just never leave the house again. Not by yourself with both kids. Not now, not ever.

Actually, no one ever gave me that advice. And I want to know WHY?! Why didn't somebody warn me?? Do they hate me? or my kids? How did I miss this incredibly vital information.

I've tried twice now. Which means that I didn't learn my lesson the first time. The good news is, no children were harmed in either event. And that is about the only positive thing I have to say about both experiences.

The second best parenting advice I never got was to check the reviews of Spanx online before you get pregnant again. Because nearly every other woman reviewing Spanx online starts her review with, "After my second pregnancy" or "I just had my second kid." Just think about that when you are keeping a stash of Halloween candy in your desk drawer because, hey, you're eating for two! and it wasn't so bad losing the weight the first time. Because is leading me to believe that after the second kid is when your stomach just quits pretending to try.

And finally, for better or worse, doing this a second time around has taught me that you can't take complete responsibility or blame for your the way your kids turn out. Sleeping and nursing come to mind. I thought I was so good at getting Hannah on a schedule but so awful and getting her to nurse. Meanwhile, I do just about nothing differently and feel the exact opposite about Maggie. And I'm sure as they get older my list of examples will grow longer. The best advice I have seen is, you don't try to figure it out. You just try to survive it. And by that standard, I guess we are all doing OK.

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